and yet, in another way, it seems quite a sane thing for me to be disturbed by the world in which i live and i am quite certain that anyone not disturbed by that world must themselves be quite psychotic.
because of my disturbance, i spend a lot of time complaining - to my family, to retailers, to governments and, in a way, to myself because i am the first target of the voice of hypercriticism. this is why i live a fairly strange and ascetic life, because i try to act on that criticism. and so i am in conflict in one way or another, 24 / 7.
in the order of things i am an outsider. an insane man in a sane world - so they say. or a sane man in an insane world, as i would have it. this is largely your world. i am 1 / 7 billionth. you are the rest. and because we are all here together then i must be both sane and insane simultaneously depending on the point of view.
this then is my lonely and isolated plaint. a criticism of some things that i think are wrong with the world. i am talking largely to no one. but that isnt the point. writing it down helps. ordering some theme from the blank chaos of my mind, tap tap tap on the keyboard, is therapy. the play of words. some sanity, if only my own, if only in the now of writing or reading, otherwise lost in the blank chaos.